Tired, Troubled
Date: 9/22/24	Mood: Sunday Blues
Listening To: Gimme Chocolate by Babymetal

It's been way too long since I've updated this, and I'm sorry about that. While life has mostly returned to normal, that normal is very busy, so I find myself mostly just doing my day job and podcast work and when I'm not doing those things feeling very tired and quiet and keeping to myself.

My health is okay, though I'm still in the final stretch of healing the large incision from my surgery, and between the open wound and the ostomy I've felt very weird about working out even though I'm technically cleared by my doctor and surgeon to do so. Which probably hasn't helped my energy level much, but it's hard to balance everything, y'know? Just getting enough sleep and water can be difficult enough, sometimes. But it means that my for fun projects like this blog get really back burnered while I focus on what's right ahead of me, and then I feel guilty, and stay away longer, y'know, the cycle of responsibility and failure.

Part of the reason I keep coming back to this is the whole social media untenability thing. Cohost is about a week from going into stasis, twitter sucks more than ever, and I'm posting on bluesky more but it's just not what things used to be. Maybe that's fine, it's very likely social media was a huge mistake we're all going to have to get over sooner or later. But I still want to put things out in the world and be acknowledged by others. So I'll keep blogging, even though I need an RSS and don't have any energy/time to figure out how to move this blog off of zonelets and into something that actually supports an RSS. Just not enough spoons for that sort of work with two jobs, and all. Sorry for everyone who wants to use a reader to keep up with blogs, I know it's annoying I just don't know how to fix it.

I want to have fun updates where I talk about what I've been doing, but like I said it's all work stuff and if it's not work stuff it's just gaming stuff that is technically work stuff that you can hear about on Abnormal Mapping in a little bit. I'm really happy with the gaming, been playing a lot of cool stuff, but I don't have another angle on it right now that isn't the one I'm saving for the podcast. So please again excuse me, and look forward to those podcasts. October's episode in particular is going to be a lot, I'm absolutely in love with the game we're playing for it!

I'm hoping the next two weeks will be a little more normal, I've been slowly having fewer and fewer doctors appointments, and we recently had a covid scare at home that really disrupted our living space but it's resolved now (I didn't get covid, thank god), so I could stand to have a little normalcy. I think I've earned it after the last two months. It's wild how little time it's been since everything got weird, considering on some level it feels like this has just been my life now Forever. I'm really tired of Recovery, I gotta tell you. I should go to bed, I shoulda gone to bed like an hour ago, and yet here I am writing this meaningless blog post where I mostly feel sorry for myself. Sorry again! Thanks for reading. I'll try to not just whine next time, I have so many Things To Talk About but by the time I get around to this I'm just so tired.

If you're on bluesky, say hello sometime! I feel like I never interact with anyone over there, I'm trying when there's something that catches my eye. You can do that on twitter too I guess, but y'know, maybe it's better if we don't.